The Gloomy July

It may sound unbelievable…
But I’m now writing this post
at the ward’s nurse counter…
2 hours 50 minutes ago…
A patient had just passed away
due to failure of lung’s function
Even if with the help of VAP
Sigh… This is life…
May YOU rest in peace, Amen!!!

Have u thought about your family
Have u thought about your friends
Before stepping into an action ???
Life is so fragile
Life is just so precious
It is given by God and
HE can also take it from you anytime
This is human’s fate…

It’s already August…
I really couldn’t imagine that I'm posting
30 minutes after midnight
The mood of July is just disappointed, desperate and gloomy
for me and most of my friends
Especially KY, FY, M, J, A, V, T & N…
I’ve been thinking and asking myself
Whether things and events have changed
Or I’m the problem of all changes…
What’s wrong with me ???
What’s going on with me ???

All these while I can control my feelings, my emotion
But why not now ???
I totally can’t do it…
I have totally lost my self-confidence…
All because of tiredness, sadness ???
Definitely “no” !!!
I can’t continue to be like that…

I have tried not to think negatively
I have tried to control all my bad feelings and emotions
I have tried not to blame myself to cause that accident
I have tried to face the truth and the fact of the death
I have overcome the sadness of the death
I have struggled to finish my assignments
I have studied thoroughly for my finals
I guess the answer is just only one
I’m still preventing myself to face all the true facts…

There’s an event going on this Saturday
Yes, you didn’t see it wrongly…
It’s on Saturday, 02 August 2008!!!
This event titled “Big.Fat.Life you have?”
Look at the poster below and you’ll understand…



WK, I don’t mean to lie to you…
I don’t think I will join this event with you
I will be totally lost even if I can know your friends
Not only with your friends but also with other people
Honestly I still don’t know you well
And I cannot accept you so suddenly in this moment
Give me some time
I guess for now we can only just be friends…
I wish you all the best in achieving your happiness and your love
I’m really sorry !!!

Time really flies
Semester one is over…
August will be a brand new semester for me
New subjects ( total of 6 subjects)
And will be meeting new lecturers and mates
I’m looking forward to it
Hope it won’t be a disappointed semester again…

20

82 Days