How Bad Is Life ???

I kinda felt so disturbed and so tension
I'm starting to hate my daily life
stress, tension, disappointment, sadness
I'm facing it almost everyday all these while
till now i have to proof that
my personal perception is totally wrong
life is never how good or bad that i have expected


there are times of my little secrets and memories
which were revealed by the others just like that
i just felt that im loosing the direction of my life
feeling myself to be so useless and pathetic
suffocating with academic stuff
and currently thinking how bad my life is
but i never thought of giving up in myself


mid term papers were just getting me crazy
for almost four days im blaming myself
im totally lost and trapped in this situation
im really disappointed of myself of not working hard
to achieve what i've wanted it seems to be
a failure of my studies and make me so vulnerable
it's totally a big disappointment for myself and the lecturers


friendship seems to be the most important thing in my life
but now im just feeling that
i can't be my friend's listeners anymore
im not even in the situation to give them advice and comments
all that i can figure out was whenever
there are misunderstandings among friends
revealing the wall to block the relationship forever


group work seems to be always testing my patience
im totally sick with this patience
always trying my best to do everything
and also help the members of the team
but sometimes
some events, some misunderstandings, some mistakes
which will really cause the disappointment among members


i really just hope that God will give me chance
to have a 360 degrees of changes of my lifestyle


thanks to all my college mates and friends
that are always there to advice and support me
i guess now i really have no more strength for myself
to face all possibilities, circumstances, havoc and difficulties
but in the inner-heart of me i will totally never give up
in every hour, every minute or every second
life is meant to be just a cup of tea


my dear, don't feel sorry or even blame yourself anymore
nobody in the group is blaming you
not me, not jiahong and not kokwai
honestly im kinda pissed off since this morning
just because of the confusing attributes and data
would make my hatred feelings to increase
if the whole copyright of the hard work is being plagiarize
love ya, don't think too much !!!