What am I thinking ???

michy, I'm sorry to be so emotional today
i've been controlling my emotion this whole morning
i'm giving you the explanation now if you're reading this
what am I thinking ???


i'm really emotional this morning
till that particular period that I can really have a good break
three of us was busying how about the others
gaming, searching, chatting after finishing UID tutorials
what am I thinking ???


although somebody helped to edit the slides
this is really sickening if no helping hand is given
relying on your without good sleep buddy and us to finish everything
it's really too much
i wanted to enjoy and chat online too
i wanted to update on the presentation post too
i wanted to just put away the whole thing and enjoy myself
what am I thinking ???


i had a good break of
walking out from college to collect my photostated stuff
i had a good break of
cooking a bad lunch meal
i had a good break of
touching the piano again after one month
what am I thinking ???


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Before
i've tried my best to help
i've tried my best to tolerate
i've tried my best to not give up
i've tried my best to face the daily life
what am I thinking ???


Now
i've learned to say "no" in my life
i've learned to hurt somebody in my life
i've learned to give up on somebody in my life
i've learned to stay away from somebody in my life
what am I thinking ???


it is making me tiring
it is making me emotional
it is making me sickening
it is making me disappointing
it is sad to say that it is unappreciated
what am I thinking ???


i've never did this in my life
i've never say "no" to my friends who asked me for favour
i've never wanted to hurt my friends especially when I'm emotional
i've never give up on my friendship because friends are important to me
you can say I don't know how to appreciate
but friends are always my primary relationship
what am I thinking ???


Just give up
Just let go
Just....
what am I thinking ???


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i've been not to think on it
i've been telling myself
what that happened is not true
what that happened is just a normal and nothing important
what am I thinking ???


but i couldn't stop to think about it
but i couldn't control my feelings towards it
i just couldn't stop thinking about it
anyway, it has slowly disappear from my mind
what am I thinking ???



relax ??? enjoy ??? sleep ???
finals is starting soon next week
good luck